Showing posts with label I forgot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I forgot. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Here's your second helping.

I realize that this is probably really boring, but I just want to post this for no reason. This is a paper I did for history class on the Beaver Indians. Read it.

The Beaver Indians

When you think of Beavers, it is guaranteed that you DO NOT first think of the Indian tribe, but of the animal, and that is understood. The animal beaver is an awesome animal, for its flat tail and its ability to gnaw down trees with its teeth. You don’t want to hear cool things about the animal beaver in this paper; you want me to tell you about the Beaver Indians so that is what I shall do. I would rather talk about the animal beaver, but I must obey my orders, sir!

A long time ago, in this same galaxy, and to be more precise, in central and northern Alberta and Saskatchewan, in Canada, the beaver tribe originally “set up camp”. Now, they live in a reserve like mostly all other Indian tribes do, except the beaver live far from other white people. Since they live so far away, they are allowed to live in huge amounts of land in northern Alberta and British Columbia. Their “huge amount of land” covers over 100,000 square miles.

The Beaver Indians ate Beaver. I may sound like I’m joking around, but I am somewhat serious! Eating beaver was forbidden in some groups of Indians, one reason being the castoreum glands in the beavers. The castoreum glands excrete a liquid, which the beaver combines with urine and sprays around on trees and rocks for a way to mark their territory. These glands could be dried and sold to use for perfumes. Many Indians did eat beaver though, and the flat tail, if fried, was considered a delicacy.

The Beaver Indians did not sit around eating beaver tail all day, no! They also ate many other things. Fish and small animals were often roasted whole on the coals of a fire, covered in mud so they wouldn’t burn. The Beavers would often eat buffalo, which is popular for Indians, but when the buffalo died out in their area, they ate lots of moose and bear. They would cover and bait holes in the ground, and when the bears fell in, they would eat them. They would also, preserve bear fat for chomping on during the winter.

The Beaver Indians wore beavers. Again, I am not joking. The pelts of beavers and bears were a large trading item that the Indians traded to the white Europeans. It was like if you work at a furniture store. If you work at a certain furniture store, you are going to buy furniture from your store. Since the beaver Indians handled the beaver pelts, they also wore them. It may have been how they got their names also.

In the Beaver society, there were these people titled as “Beaver Shaman”. I know. Those are not two words that I have ever heard put together. The beaver Shaman were believed to have power over and know all about the “normal” people in the beaver villages. They apparently dreamed dreams that predicted good or bad things in the future, about all the other villagers.

The Beavers lived in beavers. Now the name “Beaver Indians” makes complete sense. The Beaver Indians made like stick teepees, and covered them with cute little fuzzy beaver pelts. It was not very complex or anything. I think they copied the idea from other tribes. Those cheaters…

Remember the bear traps? Well those traps did not JUST catch bears, they also caught some horses and sometimes people of another tribe which was tromping through the beaver territory. This made the other tribe mad that they fell in these bear holes, but it also made the beavers mad that they were tromping through their land. Luckily, the other tribe was just traveling through, so there was not much fighting.

Now you know all about the Beaver Indians, and though my topic was not the animal beaver, you learned a bit about them too. That’s free information. You can take it. Sometimes I give out free information; I am just nice like that.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Food, and womb computers

Ungh. That is a grunt, which If you would have heard out loud, you would have known that I was feeling frustrated. The reason is because I am starting to not want to write in this blog anymore. It's starting to feel more like an assignment. This is not a good thing. But the thing that IS a good thing is that I will force myself to, so if you actually DO like this blog, then I will keep writing in it. Even though I know that at this time, I have nobody that is not my direct friend that I hang out with everyday that reads these. The person that reads them the most is miller, so many Kudos to you (I'm NOT giving you a kudos).

Also, like I predicted, I am running out of things to write about except if you remember, I predicted that it would take a long time before it would happen. I had said I was a real topic filled guy. Well apparently I'm not. Bummer.

I just remembered something. Matt got a second cake (If you are confused right now, and you are thinking, second cake? What? Then you obviously didn't read all my blogs, so get to it.). I'M SO PROUD. One bad thing though, usually cakes are delicious, but this cake was not. I know what you're thinking. How can a cake taste bad? It's cake! Unless you are someone you tasted this cake, because then you are thinking; yah, that was a bad cake (ß Semicolon usage? Not sure if it is proper, I am terrible at grammar). I'm not sure how the cake tasted bad, whether it was old, or if Matt farted directly on the cake and the scent absorbed into the spongy texture of the angel food cake of which it was made, but I do know that it was so bad that he traded it to someone who didn't know for two chicken ramen. Good deal in my opinion, fart cake for delicious, delicious ramen.

That also reminds me. This weekend, my mom bought something which I had no idea existed. She came home from Sam's Club (who is Sam?) with a 36 pack of ramen. 36!! That is a butt load of ramen, and I ate many of them. Krieger thinks that having unlimited Mountain Dew and pot pie is better than unlimited ramen, and I'm not sure I can argue with that. That's food and drink. Not only that, its pot pie. Hmmm. Sadly, I think he wins. Sad face.

So far I have only talked about food. That's pretty cool. I mean REALLY COOL. RREEAALLLLYY CCOOOOLL. Mhmm, yah, whatever.

I'm chewing gum. It's red.

I don't know what to write. Ok I thought of something. To hear what he wants to say, continue on to the next paragraph.

Recently me and my friends have gotten into Age of Empires 3 or 2 ( I don't know). With the generously accepted help of miller, we connected 3 to 4 computers, depending on if Petoskey smokes or not (he has never smoked; (That's semicolon number four!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I just said that for no reason. Don't get concerned for his health.). I am really bad at real time strategy games, because my brain doesn't think that way, and because I never have before. I know that's a bad excuse, they have told me, but they all have played this game since before they were born. That's not fair to me if they were brought into this world playing on a laptop that runs on Willy-Wonka's-everlasting-nuclear-batteries-that-last-nine-months. I don't even know how they did that. That's just amazing that their mother's womb would create such technology. Anyway, they are better than me, blah blah blah. Who wants to hear that anyway?

Can you tell that I added the exclamation marks to add stuff to this? It's not cheating either. No! No it's not! Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh! Voice from the next room: SHUT UP!!!

Well I have to obey ghosts. They are more powerful than me. They could go 'whooooo' when I'm trying to sleep. And since Ghosts don't have to sleep they could do it all night (the whoo-ing, not… whatever.)

Well since I am literally saying a lot without saying anything, I'll stop here. I think I am going to try to go around to a lot of people and get funny stories from their childhood, and post them all into one super large prostate cancer-ed blog. Without prostate cancer. That would be pretty sweet.

If you are reading this at night, then goodnight. If you are reading this in the morning, then good morning. If you are reading this as you scream towards the earth at breakneck speed with a parachute strapped to you back, then stop reading and open the stupid parachute!!