First and last Summer blog... jk

Sigh… well, its Monday, so that means I have to write a new blog. Writing in the summer is going to be much harder than I thought. I have to do it though, because I promised myself and because there actually people waiting for me to. I know at least three. Writing in the summer might be harder because will want to just sit around, but it also will be easier, because I can just keep my computer on, and type whenever I think of something, and I don’t have to force myself to type all at once.

I am actually really happy though, because I finally have a reader that I don’t know in person. Krieger was texting his cousin (I think) who lives too many miles away for me to think about without getting dizzy (Disney is wrong, this is not a small, small world), and I half forced him to tell her about my blog. He was fully willing to do it since he is not made of cereal, but anyway. This is doubly a good thing because she is also my first and probably last female reader. Thank you, you know who you are.


Today we did what I will be doing for probably one-fourth of my summer, and that is watching and making fun of little kid shows on TV. We watch little kid shows because we have barely any channels on our TV. Today we watched an episode of ‘Dragon tails/tales’ I dunno which one.


DANIEL SHUT UP!! Sorry, my brother… Never mind, you don’t want to know.


Anyway (there I go again), on Dragon tails/tales, they had to bring a pot of soup that probably weighed about 300 pounds to this fat old lady dragon that was sick. To get there, they had to cross a bridge that was guarded by a troll. Oh Noes a troll! First of all, the trolls name was Trumpy the Troll. That is one of the dumbest names I have ever heard. Second of all, the troll said that to get across the bridge they all had to do a cartwheel. Yes, that looks dumb in writing, but it looks even worse when a troll named trumpy says it in an angry tone. Anyway, I will be watching little kid shows the whole summer, and I will update you on anything especially stupid.

Since I have barely anything written, I am showing you a chat that me a miller had. Its pretty stupid, but the whole time I was 'laffing' so hard. Enjoy?
Me - imb writing a blog i gotta go i gotta pee i gotta eaat tthe vvvvvvviideos store traje de bano

Jacob - okay...?

Me - TRAAJEEEE DEEEEEE BBAANNOOO
why arent you working? are you skipping work?
you sly dog you

Jacob - today's my day off

Me - i know it memememememememememememememememememememememorial day right?

Jacob - i only work sat, sun, and tues

Me - what? wowowowow

Jacob - yeah

Me - im eating
im eating food
fud
im eating fuc
fud

Jacob - it's a movie theater. you really think it's going to be busy during the week?

Me - lol
yah

Jacob - pankow. you need to focus

Me - i woujghfjdks
f
i think you would be busy onb bah day
bath day

Jacob - i can't take this right now

Me - lol
im sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry
maybe not
cry tin man

Jacob - that remind me of "say it with me, courtney... PENIS!" (<- inside joke)
puh... pEEENIs

Me - oh yah

Jacob - lol

Me - lol
i thougth oyu wew talking about courtney teeples (<- inside joke)
wahwahwahwawhahwahwah

Jacob - lol

Me - my nany is crying
baby

Jacob - why?

Me - I gotta organize my clothing materials
bbc

Jacob - pankow... whenever i talk to you... I always have this aura floating around in my head.

Me - british

Jacob - you know what it tells me?

Me - broudcasting
coorporation
/what
!@#$$%^&^%$#
swears

Jacob - it tells me... What the !@#$ is this kid talking about?!

Me - wizard swears
lololloloololollolooooooooo
lll
low ridersssss
ssssss
s
s
s
s
s
s
smy aunt is a hipie

Jacob - if you could see me right now...
it would remind you a lot of schmeling

Me - iif you could see ME right now...
im lafing so hrd
laffing my bad
help my leg is stuck to the wall

Jacob - your words hurt my brain
please... stop
just stop

Me - i cant geddit iff
off
jfkf
jk its fine

Jacob - bye pankow.

Me - i love you and your sister
and your dad is scary but i love him
bye
bye
i gotta go
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
too many
way too mNY
MmMMM

Jacob is offline.

So there you have it. 'Tis pretty annoying hey?

Pulpy pugs and ruler'ed spinal cords

(Random sound effect) Haha, I started it with a random sound effect without starting it with a random sound effect. I'm genius. I noticed that I have started a lot of my blogs so far with 'argh' or something like that. 'Tis not good, 'tis not good at all. Also, I noticed that I say 'anyway' a lot. I say one more word a lot, but I don't remember what it was.

Anyway… [<- herherher (to use one of my sister's words.)] Ooh brackets, real nice (*right click 'herherher', left click add to dictionary). Sorry, I absolutely positively had to do that, or else the Perpetual Pugs would've scored (we are playing soccer/fütbol/shark-bandana-obstacle-course-Muslim-beanbag-toss). What? They scored anyway? Well aren't they the sneakiest little critters.

Crit·ter [krittər](crit·ters)

Living thing

a living thing, especially an animal

(Informal or regional)

• That dog was a funny old critter (or in this case, it was VERY, VERY SNEAKY!!)

Today I have been doing everything at 300% speed and 25% accuracy, so I decided that as long as I was actually saying things that were six-seventeenths funny, I might as well write this do this. Also with me not posting next week, I absolutely positively have to do it.

Crap. They scored again.

This blog might be harder to read than others, and also might be cheating since I have so many tiny paragraphs. I DON'T CARE… bear. What? What? No you first. Ok… wait what?

Halp me I am stuck in a trap of writing lots about nothing. I probably could sit her for hours and type pages that say nothing at all. *Halp added to dictionary. I don't have time to sit here for hours though. I have cheat codes for Portal and Half Life 2 that I want to test. I cannot wait.

Teehee, I said 'cannot'.

Pulpy is a weird word, with a weird definition. Google defines pulpy as, well first of all it's an adjective, but its definition is this. NO, not the word 'this', the thirty-one words that directly follow after the next semicolon (semicolon just for the smack of it); 1. Like a pulp or overripe; not having stiffness and 2. Having the characteristics of pulp; having the characteristics of pulp fiction; thus, having a garish focus on sex and violence.

Hmmm. It went from deliciously sweet tasting but stupidly textured orange poop into sex and violence. How bad are things in this world that you cannot even discuss orange pulp without some Google worker coming up to you and changing the subject of your conversation for the worse. We should cause all of them to faint and then destroy all of the poke' centers so they can't be healed by annoying nurses with pink hair. Those Google workers and their Google maps cars, stealing your privacy AND your ice cream with the same hand. Man, hat Ticks me off almost as much as it Tocks me off.

Tocks: T-shaped socks for people with lonely feet. I made that up myself, in fact, I'm going to print that off and throw it away. Then do it again. I will then repeat it until the computer room supervisor dude throws a cleverly hidden ruler into my spinal cord from across the room.

That's probably not a good idea. I'll get Krieger to try it out. Now THAT is a good idea. I'm going to do that right now. Hold on one minute.

…

Yep, it happened exactly how I predicted it to, except the computer room guy threw it after only thirteen sheets thrown away. That was much faster than the predicted forty-five. Ew, Krieger is getting blood on the floor. Crap, this time, Krieger can't clean it up! WHO WILL DO THE WORK??

"This looks like a job for, Super-hero-with-about-forty-five-different-numbers-and-letters-on-his-costume (it's also blue)!!"

Wait, he does murder scene clean up? Well, that doesn't matter as long as I don't have to do it. At least he works for minimum wage. I'm happy to say we don't actually treat Krieger that bad. We clean up our own messes, no matter what type of bodily fluid it is!

MPREKDiYANTOS. That means 'goodbye for now' in munya, my sister's language.

MPREKDiYANTOS and munya were both obviously added to dictionary.

Speeches and Lando's song

I'm writing this in speech class while other people do their speeches. I've already done mine, so I don't have to pay attention. The way we have to do the speeches that we are doing now is interesting. We had to pick two different topics from a list of topics that he thought of while watching T.V. All the topics were really crappy, so no body had a topic that they were fully interested in. Anyway, after you choose two, he 'randomly' chose you another topic (they were actually not random, he just said they were.). So then you had three topics that you had to research and prepare speeches for. But then that day, he held up three note cards with a one, a two, or a three on it. By choosing one of the note cards, you were choosing which speech you were going to give, leaving the other two topics to poop their pants and cry in the corner from not getting picked. The funny thing was, you could easily see the number through the cards, so you could choose which two topics you want to watch clean up large piles of human manure.

Someone just mentioned a cow in one of their speeches, and Lando's brightened up like a little girl who just got the crap beat out of them by a Jonas brother. Because they wouldn't care that they were in average pain (A Jonas brother couldn't hit that hard), because they would be so exited that a Jonas brother touched them.

Back to Lando.

He perked up when they mentioned cows. For some reason, he really likes cows. Why? Why would he like cows? I mean, I like cows as much as the next cotton candy seller, but they are not that special. In History class, we had to pick something that we were learning about, and illustrate it. I drew Gandhi weaving his own clothes. He took the simple detail that one country traded beef, and made it into what he wanted. His drawing was one cow. One single thin pen outline of a cow, with three spots, and the eyes of a kid on a sugar high.

Another thing about Lando that's worth writing about is that he made up a song. Not a cleverly rhyming song with twenty verses, a four line song. I think he made it up in wrestling practice. This is how it goes.

'Ring-a-ding-ding-ding,

The cat is in the bathtub,

Thanks for the bacon,

Ring-a-ding-ding-dong.'

Speaking of Lando, he is giving his speech now, and his topic is 'which crimes are felonies'. That kinda shows you how crappy the topics were. Anyway, it made me think, since some states have the death penalty enabled in the options menu, and some don't, why do people still do crimes punishable by death in the states with the death penalty? Why don't they go to the other states and do them there? If it were how it should be, the crime rates would be extremely lower it the states with it enabled. I dunno. It might actually be, and I just don't know. Oh well.

Oh yeah, I got sick of Age of Empires, and it's NOT just because I suck. I just got sick of it. Don't even ask me about it. I won't talk about it.

I forgot to start writing down everybody's funny childhood stories, so I will start that today. I dunno if I will post one tomorrow or not, because I might be too busy working on the childhood story mass blog, but I know for sure that I won't be posting all of next week becaus eof exams. I know this really doesn't matter to anyone, because I have no readers outside of my school, and if I ever do, that week will already be over, and I would have began to post again, but I like to sound like I have a truck load and a half of readers. It makes me feel good.

Food, and womb computers

Ungh. That is a grunt, which If you would have heard out loud, you would have known that I was feeling frustrated. The reason is because I am starting to not want to write in this blog anymore. It's starting to feel more like an assignment. This is not a good thing. But the thing that IS a good thing is that I will force myself to, so if you actually DO like this blog, then I will keep writing in it. Even though I know that at this time, I have nobody that is not my direct friend that I hang out with everyday that reads these. The person that reads them the most is miller, so many Kudos to you (I'm NOT giving you a kudos).

Also, like I predicted, I am running out of things to write about except if you remember, I predicted that it would take a long time before it would happen. I had said I was a real topic filled guy. Well apparently I'm not. Bummer.

I just remembered something. Matt got a second cake (If you are confused right now, and you are thinking, second cake? What? Then you obviously didn't read all my blogs, so get to it.). I'M SO PROUD. One bad thing though, usually cakes are delicious, but this cake was not. I know what you're thinking. How can a cake taste bad? It's cake! Unless you are someone you tasted this cake, because then you are thinking; yah, that was a bad cake (ß Semicolon usage? Not sure if it is proper, I am terrible at grammar). I'm not sure how the cake tasted bad, whether it was old, or if Matt farted directly on the cake and the scent absorbed into the spongy texture of the angel food cake of which it was made, but I do know that it was so bad that he traded it to someone who didn't know for two chicken ramen. Good deal in my opinion, fart cake for delicious, delicious ramen.

That also reminds me. This weekend, my mom bought something which I had no idea existed. She came home from Sam's Club (who is Sam?) with a 36 pack of ramen. 36!! That is a butt load of ramen, and I ate many of them. Krieger thinks that having unlimited Mountain Dew and pot pie is better than unlimited ramen, and I'm not sure I can argue with that. That's food and drink. Not only that, its pot pie. Hmmm. Sadly, I think he wins. Sad face.

So far I have only talked about food. That's pretty cool. I mean REALLY COOL. RREEAALLLLYY CCOOOOLL. Mhmm, yah, whatever.

I'm chewing gum. It's red.

I don't know what to write. Ok I thought of something. To hear what he wants to say, continue on to the next paragraph.

Recently me and my friends have gotten into Age of Empires 3 or 2 ( I don't know). With the generously accepted help of miller, we connected 3 to 4 computers, depending on if Petoskey smokes or not (he has never smoked; (That's semicolon number four!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I just said that for no reason. Don't get concerned for his health.). I am really bad at real time strategy games, because my brain doesn't think that way, and because I never have before. I know that's a bad excuse, they have told me, but they all have played this game since before they were born. That's not fair to me if they were brought into this world playing on a laptop that runs on Willy-Wonka's-everlasting-nuclear-batteries-that-last-nine-months. I don't even know how they did that. That's just amazing that their mother's womb would create such technology. Anyway, they are better than me, blah blah blah. Who wants to hear that anyway?

Can you tell that I added the exclamation marks to add stuff to this? It's not cheating either. No! No it's not! Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh! Voice from the next room: SHUT UP!!!

Well I have to obey ghosts. They are more powerful than me. They could go 'whooooo' when I'm trying to sleep. And since Ghosts don't have to sleep they could do it all night (the whoo-ing, not… whatever.)

Well since I am literally saying a lot without saying anything, I'll stop here. I think I am going to try to go around to a lot of people and get funny stories from their childhood, and post them all into one super large prostate cancer-ed blog. Without prostate cancer. That would be pretty sweet.

If you are reading this at night, then goodnight. If you are reading this in the morning, then good morning. If you are reading this as you scream towards the earth at breakneck speed with a parachute strapped to you back, then stop reading and open the stupid parachute!!

This blogs rules, and Smeagolish behavior.

Yesterday, on Tuesday (Aww, it's only Wednesday), I didn't post anything, and I have a good excuse for it. I had a runny nose, and it prevented me completely from typing anything. Seriously, I was physically unable to type anything blog related. The truth is no where near that excuse (I just didn't feel like doing it.), but it is a good excuse anyway. It's ok that I didn't put anything, because I am not going to be like shaycarl, or Charlestrippy (or however his name is spelt, I don't know, I don't watch his videos. One daily vlog is enough.), by posting one up every single day for months at a time without missing a single one. Basically, I'm going to as many days as I can (or feel like), except for on the weekends. I have more important things to do on the weekends, like maplestory. Y'know, stuff that I can only do on the weekends. Also, during the summer, I will post much less, but I will. In the summer it will always depend on what time I wake up in the morning. Or afternoon. I think they will be shorter during the summer, because I will be too lazy to write, but more interesting, because I will actually do things worth writing about. Also, if I go on a car trip, they will be beastly long because I will have nothing else to do in the car.

With a little over two weeks of school left in the year, every single day except for Monday feels like a Friday. Mondays… just feel slow and stupid, until the end of the day when you think it is Tuesday, because then you feel stupid. Aggh. Every week seems longer than the last, and every weekend feels even shorter.

I like four letter words, which is why I use them a lot. Words like Aggh, argh, haha, y'know stuff like that. Also reading over what I write, I use a LOT of contractions, even though I had that one paragraph on how I think they are stupid. I still like them though, and a probably use them so much because that how I talk. I blend words together and I speak kind lazily. Sometimes when I am way too lazy to move my mouth to say something, but someone asks me a question, I just grunt. The way I grunt lets them know exactly what I mean, so I don't need to explain. A frequent example is when someone passes by me in the hallway and says hi. I am too tired and lazy to say hi back so I grunt in a way that they can translate as hi. Usually I do this right when I wake up in the morning, when my eyes still are crusty and haven't adjusted to the bright light yet. People try to talk to me, but I just grunt. By now they've figured out that I'm really not a morning person, and that I'm still grumpy from not being able to watch the end of my dream and knowing that for countless hours I will be bothered from not knowing what happened to the main character. Spoiler alert; (<- semicolon. <- spelled right.) he fell into stomach fluid and became badly disfigured, and probably die. Also, his house that he completely built out of Jell-o completely caved in, killing his wife and kids (Seriously, why doesn't that happen in Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs? I was anxiously waiting for it to happen, but

when they left the house and it DID'NT happen, I was convinced that they were going to come back to that Jell-o house, and it was going to collapse then).

Hmm, what was I non-rudely saying before rude Eric Pankow rudely interrupted. How rude of him. Oh yeah, I'm not a morning person. A good example happened in the beginning of the year, when they didn't fully understand how grumpy I can get in the morning (they still don't have a full grasp, they still try to talk to me, I know, how rude!). I sleep on the bottom bunk of Matt and my bunk bed, which was crammed up in the wall. His blanket is king sized, so he shoved half of it between his mattress and the bed frame. He had already gotten out of bed, and the blanket was hanging over, completely closing off my bunk like a dark cave. Oh the days of my dark warm cave. Anyway, I was sleeping in the cave, and, unknown to me, everyone was crowded around my bed, ready to pounce if they needed to. Miller slowly crept up, probably doing that raptor walk thing that he does, which you may not known about you, you person reading this (Congratulations to you for reading this far by the way.).

Anyway, Miller crept up, bent over, grabbed the corner of my blanket, and pulled. Somehow I woke up fast enough to grab it, but he kept on pulling it. I was grumpy (the main character was in a fight with a giant red worm), and I wanted my blanket, so I burst out of the cave. Miller was still holding the blanket, so I attacked with great ferocity. The all of a sudden exposure to cold air didn't make me any happier. I punched and kicked, probably looking REALLY stupid. Actually, I should probably say 'drowsily flailed my body part in the vague direction of Miller'. He finally let go, and, like Smeagol, I scampered back into my cave. That was my side of the story, and his is probably different, but now you see how people mess with me in the morning as well as how much of a morning person I am not.

I did fine without a nose.

Yes! I'm so happy! After I was done typing yesterday’s blog, I really wanted to Write another one, because I actually liked typing it. It took me a couple hours, but it was fun!

I never thought that I would like typing five pages on word without a break or anything, and in school, I wouldn't. The only two things that make typing a paper for school and writing a Blog is that in school, you actually are being forced to do it. I'm not being forced to write this at all. That’s the only difference. Many things are like that. If you are forced to do them, you whine, procrastinate, and maybe not do it as well as you could have. But this is more writing that I’ve written in school for a long time, but I’m doing on my own time, so I like it and its fun. Weird huh?

Oh yeah, remember yesterday when my nose disappeared? After it vanished, I was trying to tell you that I could live without a nose, but I was rudely interrupted by Oscar Pretzel’s disappearance. OOOH THAT BURNS ME. Yeah, being able to smell cookies or your neighbor’s bed sheets is a nice ability, but is it necessary? Sure, you can smell Gasoline or Carbon Monoxide in time to dive out your third story apartment window, but nowadays, we have machines to smell that for us! C’mon! So I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that I DID survive one whole day without a nose, and I’m perfectly fine.

I write too much in these blogs, and it comes back to get me when I have to type them. That’s ok though, because in my opinion, writing a lot is much better than writing very little, as some people do. I think its way more entertaining. I think that once I run out of topics about, this blog will really suck. That’s ok too I guess, since it will be a very long time before I run out of topics. I’m a very topic filled guy. I’m very lazy though. Y’know why? This is the beginning of the fourth entry, and I haven’t posted anything on my blog yet. Well, at least while I write this I haven’t. When you read it I will have, OBVIOUSLY.

For Mother’s Day, I didn’t make her a card like my siblings. No, I made an animated gif for her. How way more cool is that? Just thought I’d mention that.

Yesterday I had to stay (x) amount of minutes after study hall, because I was that same (x) amount of minutes late. During this time, I was writing yesterday’s blog entry, and I was so into it that I accidentally stayed (y) amount of minutes extra, but I didn’t get ANY candy for it! I was so mad. (x=20 minutes, y=10 minutes)

Ok, so a week ago, I saw Krieger reading a web comic online in study hall, and I
decided that I wanted to read them also. He set me up with two of them, with many more where that came from (baby). The first was xkcd.com, and it has over 700 entries, and in less than a week, I read them all. The second, which I am still working on because it has over 1,000 entries, is whiteninjacomics.com. I like the second better.

Setting goals for myself and completing them like this makes me feel so much more accomplished in my life, kind of what I described in the first blog. have started many goals for my self already, such as reading the entire archives of geekologie.com, read as many web comics as I can, watch all of the Shaytard’s videos, and many more like that. Every time I accomplish one of these goals, I always feel so happy. I should keep a list of my goals on my blog. That’s a good idea. I don’t feel stupid and I don’t feel like I’m wasting time when I sit in front of the computer all day and do things like this, I actually feel the opposite. It’s just like with Maple story. My mom always asks me and my sister if we feel like we are wasting time playing it for countless hours, and the truth is, getting my character to level up just makes me feel awesome. Also, it makes me feel better than boringly playing outside. I already maxed my rollerblading skill anyway. The web comics help me feel good inside too. You should check ‘em out. They are really funny.

Playing outside reminds me of something. Recently, a new family moved into a house across the street from us. From what I have been able to figure out by watching them out my window (wow, I hope they don’t read this), there is one boy my age, and one girl older than me. Though they have lived there for two months, I never talked to either of them until once recently, and I haven’t talked to them since then. When I did talk to the boy, it was kinda a funny story, and I’ll tell you in a minute. But I always wonder why people always are shy to talk to new people, even if they have heard from someone that that person is funny or something. You know that you would get along with them, but you are shy to talk to them at first anyway. This always happens to me and my cousin Sammy (I always say, ‘No Sam I am, I do not green eggs and ham.’ He gets really mad too. It amuses me.). Now he lives in California, so I NEVER see him anymore, but he used to live in Wisconsin, and we would visit him at least once a year. No matter how much fun we had on previous visits, every time we see each other, we are too shy to talk for almost a full day. A FULL DAY! I’m not sure what the full point of this paragraph was. I guess I just want you to realize how silly it is to be shy to new people, and that you should just talk to the person, but I think I failed.

Sam and I used to have so much fun. One time, we took a plastic toy cow and wrapped it in so much duct tape you could not see the cow, it was just a ball of duct tape. Then we would roll it down the stairs. Another time, we were playing a Star Wars pod-racer game for the PS2, and every time I turned I would move my body in that direction, and he made fun of me for it.

Oh yeah, the story when I talked to that kid that lives across the street from me. Thanks for reminding me. Ok, first let me describe him. The kid is tall, slightly orange haired, and kinda…big (I feel uncomfortable putting that he was fat because of the slight possibility that for some reason he sees this.). He always zooms around the road with his bike, from one corner of the block to another, then back again, over and over.

One time my brother and I were freezing stuff to make weird shaped ice, like putting water in a cup, and then putting another cup inside so that the ice is in the shape of a cup. Stuff like that. I decided to freeze a water balloon to make a sphere of ice. When I filled the balloon, I saw him out the window zooming past on his bike as always. Heh heh. I carried the water-filled balloon outside (It wasn’t a water balloon. It was a water-filled balloon. Haha.), and waited behind my parent’s van in the driveway. Where I was standing, he couldn’t see me until he went right past, but when DID go past, I smashed the large water-filled balloon on the ground directly behind him. He instantly screeched to a stop, actually pretty fast (he has the reaction time of a video gamer). Right away I assured him by saying;

“Don’t worry Daddy’s gotcha.” Ok, maybe not. That probably would not have assured him very well.

Actually I said, “Don’t worry; I would have never done that to you.” YES I USED A SEMICOLEN!!

He instantly replied, “I would’ve done it to you.” I know, kinda freaky eh?

We talked for a little bit, but I ended the conversation pretty quickly, because he was kinda weird. Now that I wrote it down, it doesn’t seem that funny but hey, you asked for it. OK SO YOU DIDN’T! But I don’t care, I wrote it.
Ok, so this is the end of this one. In my opinion, this is the has been the best one so far.

Matt and the Cake

Ahh. It’s been three days since I have written anything. I totally forgot how to write the letter ‘B’. I figured it out though it out though, see? B. Haha, I did it.

On another note of write-ability before I get to the main topic, my friend Matt, bought a cake. A care bear themed cake. Well oblivious to me, it’s weird to buy a cake not on a birthday. Someone said that in my room, I’m not sure who though. This depresses me. Cake is delicious, and I don’t see any reason not to eat it for no reason, which by the way, is exactly what has Matt done. I’m proud of you Matt.
Wow. I just interrupted my interruption. How can I do that? As a matter of fact, how can anyone do anything—Wait Eric, don’t interrupt the interruption of the interruption! Bad things will happen! Too late, my nose is gone. Actually, I’m pretty sure—woa, Oscar Pretzel is gone. Mmmm, Hersheys. Crap. My leg.
ANYWAY, Matt bought a cake.

(Silence) Yep. That’s it. Naw, actually there’s more. On the cake there was a flat care bear face made out of plastic. He took it off the cake, and began licking the frosting off the back, like any normal person would do. Frosting is good, you can’t just waste it. Well, while he was licking, all of a sudden, thin red streaks appeared on the plastic.

YOU ARE NOW FREAKED OUT.

Anyway, he had cut his tongue on the sharp edge of the plastic without knowing. Painless cut, very little blood, no big deal. Good thing it was not a dinosaur themed cake, with a plastic dinosaur face on it, or else Petoskey would have been thrown into the wall by blood. He’d be standing right in the way too, I’d bet money on it.
The two contractions that I used in the previous sentence (for you lazy people; he’d and I’d) are very efficient as contractions go. Not like stupid ‘its’, which takes out an ‘I’, and replaces it with an apostrophe that’s basically two-thirds of the letter ‘I’ anyway. Who invented these? They’re stupid. Haha, I used a contraction to say that contractions are stupid. If this were a big enough blog, I would put that on a shirt and you would buy it. It would say ‘Contractions’ in big letters, and then ‘They’re Stupid’ in smaller letters below it. I think that would be pretty cool.

On another topic involving punctuation, I always want to use semi-colons (because they are half a colon), but they rarely come up. Sad face.
Now for my main topic… ok never mind (phew, I almost wrote ‘nvm’), my Brain told me that I am not allowed to write about that topic. It gave me a spanking for even thinking about it. I guess Matt and his cake changed to the main topic.
I don’t have much written in this one so I will tell you a story.
Every Christmas Eve., my family and I wake up at 4:00 in the morning, play tetris, actually put the suitcases in the back of the van, and smash ourselves in there too. Where are you going you ask? Why are you traveling on Christmas Eve.? The answer to both of those questions is none of your business.

Just kidding. We are going to travel to Minnesota to spend Christmas with my Grandma and Grandpa. The trip usually takes all day, but we’ve been on so many of these trips that we’re experts at it. All you have to do is sit, wait, and occasionally complain or shove a McDonalds burger down your throat (Don’t get your hand caught!). We usually make it in time for supper, and we greet each other, hugs, happy grunts, you know how it goes. But two years ago, this cheerful greeting did not happen. Well, not right away at least.

It started when we pulled into this gas station/restaurant/truck stop/grassy field, and went in to use the bathroom. My dad filled the gas tank, we stared at all the toys that are really stupid, over priced, and fragile, we taunted an old man when he was trying to poop, y’know, the usual road trip bathroom break. Finally when we were ready to leave, my dad noticed that the car would not start. You probably know what’s going to happen now. To make a long story short, he stayed at that gas station/restaurant/truck stop/grassy field for six hours.

We occupied our time by playing the candy crane. We figured out how to get lots of candy. Basically, the crane lets you keep going until you get at least one piece of candy. But if you get something you don’t want, you can shake the machine to make it drop the candy. Then you get another turn because you didn’t get any candy. Using this concept, you can get a lot of candy by waiting until the claw is barely above the chute, then you shake it. The candy falls into the chute, but the claw doesn’t know that you got candy, so you get another turn. Haha.

Eventually uncle came and picked us up, pulling our car on a trailer behind us.

That story was way shorter than I meant it to be, but that’s ok.

Cannibals say that the Japanese taste the best.

Ironman 2 and Spaghetti. Ok, maybe not Spaghetti.

Argh. Well I hate typing in Blogspot’s typing box thing, so I wrote the previous blog on word, planning on copy/pasting it into the blog box after I was done. But, since Blogspot’s typing box thing is stupid, you can’t just paste it in, unless you do something really weird which I know about now. But anyway, because of this stupid copy/paste thing, I wasted a couple days of not having it up, I wasted a couple ‘I-WILL-do-it’s to Matt, and I wasted a whole paragraph trying to explain this. Let me predict the future. I am going to waste the rest of this page talking about Ironman and how much I’ve wasted.

And to waste another paragraph on something barely interesting (as if the rest of it will be), there is a guy next to me in the public library where I write this, watching Ironman 2 on the computer. It doesn’t come out in theaters until tomorrow. How did he do that I wonder? I know you can download movies that were recorded by people in the theater on Frostwire, because I have done it, but it is not in theaters yet. Maybe he hacked into Marvel or whoever made the movie and he is watching it from there. I dunno.

Wow. I have wasted so much space so far that I am almost to the bottom of the page on Microsoft Word. Actually two-thirds might not be almost, but it’s more than half. I wonder how long I can go before I can no longer post two or three page blogs. Of course, I double space it when I type to make it easier for me to read, but still.

I just glimpsed at Ironman 2 and it makes me wonder how many Iron men there are in that movie. I’ve seen the first one, and there was only one. Two if you count that fat guy that fight him at the end. Seriously I’m sure there is like five or six guys flying around. That makes me want to see that even more. Some of my room-mates are seeing this Friday, but I really cannot go then. I’ll probably download it online. There has got to be some Korean website that has it. My exchange students are coming home this weekend too! Sounds like a plan. Sounds like I have been talking about nothing for a full page.

Hmmm. This is harder than I thought it would be. I should just get to the subject that I planned on talking about, which was my medicine (wow, when I first typed medicine it came out ‘mwedicene’. I’m a really sloppy typist.).
I have ADHD, which does not mean that I am stupid; it just means that it is harder for me to focus on one thing for a while. I’m hoping it also has something to do with my Bad memory, but I probably just have a really bad memory anyway.
Anyway, I have to take these small orange swallow vitamins, one in the morning before I go to school and one right after school for study halls (I would say ‘pills’ but I hate that word). They actually do make a noticeable difference, noticeable to me at least, and they help a lot. They even help with my memory.
Let me temporarily interrupt with this. I think its funny how if somebody sneezes while reading a book at the public library, EVERY SINGLE librarian quickly whips their head over to see if he ‘splashed’ on any books. That just happened and I almost el-oh-el’ed. I am surprised none of them smashed their heads like melon on a cabinet or something. They didn’t even look both ways before they whipped their head. My mom always told me to do that.

Also I just noticed the Ironman guy (just finished btw), ahs black fingernail polish. If you know me you might know how much that bothers me. The rest of my time here will be uncomfortable. Sigh…

Anyway, the pills help me, blah blah blah. Ok here we are.
So I live in a dormitory (I talk like you’ve never seen me before just in case this blog gets semi popular. ‘Yeah right’, you say. Well I can always hope.), so I can’t just keep the swallowies in my dorm room drawer, where I could get them and take them in ten seconds. I have to give them to the nurse two flights of stairs down, so that she can take them. My mom says it is because they don’t want kids stealing them and trying to get high on them. I say, who would try to overdose ADHD medicine? That’s just as stupid as trying to take one of Willy Wonka’s squirrels. Except that I do want a pet squirrel. That would be awesome, until it scratches my family and my eyes out and living in our house with all twelve thousand of its family members.
It is 4:00. It being 4:00 means that it is time to get back to my main point.
The backup nurse is really old, and she really creeps me out. She always wants to give everybody a hug, but she is not one of those nice old people who somehow always seem to be extremely clean, so you would have absolutely no problem with hugging them. She is not dirty either, just average. She is also really shaky, so when you hug her you shake the whole time, so I’ve heard. I have not hugged her before. The first and only time she tried to hug me one time, I panicked inside, because, I did NOT want to hug her, and I said the first thing that I thought of.

“No thanks, I dont like hugs.”

I know pretty stupid. I felt bad because she obviously knew that I didn’t want to hug her. Don’t think that I’m a bad person, because if that’s exactly what came into your head when I said that, you obviously don’t know this lady.
The main nurse is not an old lady, as many generic nurse characters you see in books and movies are. She looks around forty, but I am bad with guessing ages, so she very well could be an old lady. Haha the antonym for woman is man! That’s not actually funny Eric. Oh, Sorry.

This nurse is also much nicer than the other one. She is too nice in fact. This nurse with overflowing friendliness is the reason I brought up my medicine, and the dorm, and my ADHD, and… ok nothing else, because of what I am going to tell you.
For the last maybe two weeks I have not taken my medicine (my grades are showing it), because of this nurse. Ok it’s also my fault, but hers as much as mine. Every morning, I wake up at about 7:20, and when I am all ready for school, the first bell rings at 7:45. After the first bell rings, I have five minutes to get down two flights of stairs (total of 24 stairs), and down three long hallways to get to my history class. I am often in my desk about 45 seconds before the bell rings. I am actually supposed to get my medicine at this time, but if I down to get it, I have to go down two flight of stairs in the opposite direction of history class, get it, swallow it, and go down four long hallways, and I would often be late.

This makes me late enough, but the worst part is that one really happy nurse. She always wants to talk to me, ask me how I am, ask me if I am taking my medicine home for the weekend (which I never do, but she always asks anyway), and this is guaranteed to make me late. That is why I haven’t taken my medicine for a while.
I know there are a couple things I could do to avoid this, such as wake up earlier and get ready faster, but who wants to get up early? My room-mates do, apparently. They get up around 6:45, at the latest. This is why I carefully chose my room-mates for next year, making sure they also sleep in a little longer. Haha, I am good.
Still. I know that I could easily avoid this whole conflict, and I have to from now on, my parents found out that since my medicines have not run out yet, that I haven’t taken them for a while.

Wow. That was a very long blog. I feel very accomplished after writing this.
Now, help me feel even more accomplished by creating an account, if you have a Gmail account, you can use that, just click follow to the right. Also, if you like me, show me to your friends. Comment too why don’t yah!

Why am I starting this Blog? (It's a boring title, trust me I know.)

A couple of my friends have done it, and I have wanted to do it for so long, I am going to do it, I am going to start a blog! Wow. The second half of that sentence probably made you really hate me. But seriously, I can remember when I was a little kid, and I used to write in my little Harry Potter journal under the bed with a flashlight, even though it was the middle of the day and I could have just as easily done it on the kitchen table. It might have even been easier on the table. I probably will post what I wrote in there later, just to bring back memories and to take up space in this blog. Plus maybe it will make you hate me more, because hate is a good thing right? Be hateful to your friends and neighbors. I don’t know.

Now if you are trying to punch me through your computer screen because I keep rambling on about nothing, stop, because I am going to start being serious. Mostly because my cat is doing it too. Just kidding, my cat doesn’t have a computer. Actually, I don’t even have a cat. But that’s not the point. In the next paragraph, I am going to actually talk about what is in the title, which is why I am starting this blog. Go ahead. Go to the next paragraph.

Ok, I lied. Go to the NEXT paragraph, for some real seriously not serious blogging.

That’s a good reader. To be boring and to get straight to the point (which I actually haven’t done, look at how much I have wrote so far), the first reason I am starting this blog is so that I can feel more accomplished about my life so far. I am constantly on the internet, and I see many videos of what people have made and what people have done, some at a very young age. Like one young boy programmed a finger-painting iphone app., and he was less that ten years old. This makes me look at how average my life is, and this blog will help me to feel more accomplished. I mean seriously!

I’m not sure why I said ‘I mean seriously!’ in the last paragraph, but I did so your just going to have to sit there and take it like a man/woman! Actually, I probably won’t get any female readers. I’m not very smooth with the opposite gender. Excluding my dog. But that doesn’t count.

The second reason I am writing this blog is because… (Bathroom break)
The second reason I am writing this blog is because of one man, Shay Carl. Shay Carl is a famous YouTuber who has recorded a video of his hysterical life every single day for over a year now, all averaging around ten minutes per video. It is not just that that makes me like him so much, its his personality. Shay just has a way of joking his way, into your brain, and then locking himself in there. Even though you wouldn’t want to, if you pounded on the door and yelled for him to open up and come out, like a stubborn child, he would not unlock the door to your brain. I make this sound like a bad thing, but no. This is a very good thing, but he is just very addicting in a good way. I hope you understand.

ERIC! YOU ARE RAMBLING AGAIN!

Oops. I’m sorry, the reason Shay made me want to make this blog is that I realized, that even though it is a lot of work for him to record, edit, and upload all those videos every day, when he is older, he can go back and watch when his kids were almost babies. His kids can do this too. So this made me want to do something like that, where I can look back on my life, and think of all the good times that I have had. And cry. Wait, who just typed that part? It certainly wasn’t me!
This is getting pretty long, but I have one thing to say. Even though I am doing this almost as much for my entertainment as yours, I promise that I will keep this going for longer than the average blog, and I hope that it will be entertaining for you.