I'm at the Library, bugging guards.

I wasn't going to write a blog today but I felt like doing it because I'm half crazy all for the love of you. Too bad it won't be a very stylish marriage, mostly because I can't afford a carriage.

Right now I am at the Public library because my mom dropped me off here and left. I'm not entirely sure why, but I can still get on computers here so it's fine with me. So anyway, I'm at the library, and there is a guy to the left of me five computers down with hair that goes all the way down to the small of his back, and it is dyed bright blonde. He also has a beard, which is one of the only ways that I could tell that he was a guy. That's not the weird thing though. WH-

He just walked behind me and I had to switch tabs on crappy Firefox which the library has. I like Google chrome. Hmmm. Firefox says that I spelled 'Google' wrong. That's not very nice of them.

The weird thing about this man was that he is wearing short shorts that are so short that you can see his hairy butt cheeks. That's pretty gross, especially since he keeps walking back and forth behind me.

I must look really smudgy to some random person. I have blogger open in one tab, Facebook in a second, and Runescape in another. PLEASE don't ask about the third one, it's summer and I'm really bored.

The girl-man is grumbling at his phone, and the only human word i picked out was 'crap'. I think that's a bad word. He should be kicked out of the library. Haha he'd get his cheeks wet in the rain. NO FIREFOX I DIDN'T SPELL 'HAHA' WRONG.

Yesterday I annoyed someone so much on runescape that they finally gave in and took my five burnt fish from me. For those who don't know burnt fish are worth nothing. It was really entertaining.

What I have ten minutes left? I'll just get another computer.

The girl-man is eating something. Two reasons for him to be kicked out. Three actually, phone speaking , swearing, and eating.

And grossing people out. LOL not really.

WOW. I just saw what he was eating, and it's popcorn. He has a bag of microwave popcorn in his backpack on the table, and he keeps digging his hand in there for almost a full minute and coming out with one piece. If your gonna dig around for that long, at least pull out a handful or something. Maybe he should pour the whole bag on his lap.

There is an adult on the age 13-17 computers. I'm gonna tell.

...

Hmmm. The security guard doesn't care. Sigh...

I'm gonna end this, because it's starting to get really boring and stupid.

GOOD GRIEF THATS A HUMONGOUS HUMONGOUS!!!

Good Grief. Haha I love that... saying? I dunno what you would call that. An exclamation? A scream out word? Wow Eric, that was pretty stupid.

Well, I am sorry that yesterdays blog was pretty crappy, and probably this one will be too. I'll try as hard as I can I promise!

Eventually I will post a blog that has everysingle doodle/sketchg thing that I can find on all my worsheets and notes from the whole year. I found pretty much a lot of them. Haha. Anyway, whenever I can use the scanner from either my dad's work or the one from my mom's, I will do that, and comment on them all, trying to be funny but actually ruining the experience for you all.

HUMONGOUS.

Sorry, I'm getting a little distracted by seseme street that is playing behind me.

Ok, yesterday, I got in a really dumb argument. My sister and I had two separate cups for water at supper, but they looks exactly the same. At the end, she saw me drinking out of my cup, and she thought it was hers. She said 'Hey that's mine!', but because i didn't give it to her, because it actually was mine, I didn't give it to her. She then put a clod of dog hair in it. My dad said, why didn't you just give her the cup? And i said because it was mine. Why should I use her cup and she use my cup when we could use our own cups? Oh well, its over now, but it was really dumb at the time.

It's summer, I just woke up an hour ago, and I'm home alone, so I haven't taken a shower yet. I'm hungry, so I'm thinking of going to the store that is a couple blocks from my house to buy ramen. This is my problem though, eventually I am going to try and get a job there. Should I go there to buy something dirty and showerless? Will they remember me and think, ew, that kid was here before and he didn't take a shower. I don't know if they would remember me from then. I'll just take a shower, haha. First i'll eat the last ramen that I have that I just found.

Hey, this is a real big thing at my school, and it is the way to pronounce ramenl. Most of everybody, including me, pronounce it RAH-MEN, but there are a few stubborn people that say RAY-MEN. We even looked it up online, and it is actually pronounced RAH-MEN, but those stubborn dumbholes will not change their minds. Did that offend you? The word Dumbhole? It reminds me of Dumbledore for some reason.

Just now on Sesame street (don't judge me), Elmo's goldfish imagined him dancing on the moon, and he was doing this weird hiphop cheerleader dance in which he was moving his butt all around and stuff. I was really freaked out. It was almost like he was trying to seduce someone. It was really weird.

Crap, I just remembered that I promised myself to do a whole buch of pushups and situps everytime I eat a ramen, plus I forgot yesterday, so I have to do double. Oh well, I have to do it. Might as well actually do it. But first, I gotta pee.

Wow, pushups and situps are a lot harder when you just sat around for about four days. And ramen tastes so much better.

The last four days I have not just sat around exactly, I actually was really busy. As most of you know, our last day of school was four days ago on friday, and so on saturday there was the senior graduation service. Wait, first I'll tell you about the concert on friday. In the concert, my class sang the George of the Jungle theme song, with me being George. You can find it on youtube, just look up 'Eric Pankow as George of the Jungle'. It was really funny and everybody lovfed it, but to do it was very embarrasing. I was really nervous that I was going to yell when I wasn't supposed to, or not yell when I was supposed to, or that my voice would crack. All three of these happened during practice more than once. It turned out fine though, so It's ok.

There's nothing wrong with the egg, It's just about to hatch!

I'M SO SORRY! OK AKSJDDDDD.

I just took a shower and went to the store. I went to the store only to buy one or two ramen because It is what I am eating for lunch, but of course I also spent one whole dollar on an Raspberry Arizona tea. I ALWAYS buy one. I cannot not buy one, and that drives me crazy. Last summer i spent all my birthday money on Arizona. I vowed that I would never buy one this whole summer, but I did. ARGH. I did well during the school year near the end of the year at not buying any, but I sometimes bought two liter pop bottles. I only did it sparingly and I only drank it sparingly. It was hot out that day, so It was really refreshing, but I need not do that this summer. At least I hope not.

I think I have written enough today, so I am ending this with this: HUMONGOUS.

First and last Summer blog... jk

Sigh… well, its Monday, so that means I have to write a new blog. Writing in the summer is going to be much harder than I thought. I have to do it though, because I promised myself and because there actually people waiting for me to. I know at least three. Writing in the summer might be harder because will want to just sit around, but it also will be easier, because I can just keep my computer on, and type whenever I think of something, and I don’t have to force myself to type all at once.

I am actually really happy though, because I finally have a reader that I don’t know in person. Krieger was texting his cousin (I think) who lives too many miles away for me to think about without getting dizzy (Disney is wrong, this is not a small, small world), and I half forced him to tell her about my blog. He was fully willing to do it since he is not made of cereal, but anyway. This is doubly a good thing because she is also my first and probably last female reader. Thank you, you know who you are.


Today we did what I will be doing for probably one-fourth of my summer, and that is watching and making fun of little kid shows on TV. We watch little kid shows because we have barely any channels on our TV. Today we watched an episode of ‘Dragon tails/tales’ I dunno which one.


DANIEL SHUT UP!! Sorry, my brother… Never mind, you don’t want to know.


Anyway (there I go again), on Dragon tails/tales, they had to bring a pot of soup that probably weighed about 300 pounds to this fat old lady dragon that was sick. To get there, they had to cross a bridge that was guarded by a troll. Oh Noes a troll! First of all, the trolls name was Trumpy the Troll. That is one of the dumbest names I have ever heard. Second of all, the troll said that to get across the bridge they all had to do a cartwheel. Yes, that looks dumb in writing, but it looks even worse when a troll named trumpy says it in an angry tone. Anyway, I will be watching little kid shows the whole summer, and I will update you on anything especially stupid.

Since I have barely anything written, I am showing you a chat that me a miller had. Its pretty stupid, but the whole time I was 'laffing' so hard. Enjoy?
Me - imb writing a blog i gotta go i gotta pee i gotta eaat tthe vvvvvvviideos store traje de bano

Jacob - okay...?

Me - TRAAJEEEE DEEEEEE BBAANNOOO
why arent you working? are you skipping work?
you sly dog you

Jacob - today's my day off

Me - i know it memememememememememememememememememememememorial day right?

Jacob - i only work sat, sun, and tues

Me - what? wowowowow

Jacob - yeah

Me - im eating
im eating food
fud
im eating fuc
fud

Jacob - it's a movie theater. you really think it's going to be busy during the week?

Me - lol
yah

Jacob - pankow. you need to focus

Me - i woujghfjdks
f
i think you would be busy onb bah day
bath day

Jacob - i can't take this right now

Me - lol
im sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry
maybe not
cry tin man

Jacob - that remind me of "say it with me, courtney... PENIS!" (<- inside joke)
puh... pEEENIs

Me - oh yah

Jacob - lol

Me - lol
i thougth oyu wew talking about courtney teeples (<- inside joke)
wahwahwahwawhahwahwah

Jacob - lol

Me - my nany is crying
baby

Jacob - why?

Me - I gotta organize my clothing materials
bbc

Jacob - pankow... whenever i talk to you... I always have this aura floating around in my head.

Me - british

Jacob - you know what it tells me?

Me - broudcasting
coorporation
/what
!@#$$%^&^%$#
swears

Jacob - it tells me... What the !@#$ is this kid talking about?!

Me - wizard swears
lololloloololollolooooooooo
lll
low ridersssss
ssssss
s
s
s
s
s
s
smy aunt is a hipie

Jacob - if you could see me right now...
it would remind you a lot of schmeling

Me - iif you could see ME right now...
im lafing so hrd
laffing my bad
help my leg is stuck to the wall

Jacob - your words hurt my brain
please... stop
just stop

Me - i cant geddit iff
off
jfkf
jk its fine

Jacob - bye pankow.

Me - i love you and your sister
and your dad is scary but i love him
bye
bye
i gotta go
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
too many
way too mNY
MmMMM

Jacob is offline.

So there you have it. 'Tis pretty annoying hey?

Pulpy pugs and ruler'ed spinal cords

(Random sound effect) Haha, I started it with a random sound effect without starting it with a random sound effect. I'm genius. I noticed that I have started a lot of my blogs so far with 'argh' or something like that. 'Tis not good, 'tis not good at all. Also, I noticed that I say 'anyway' a lot. I say one more word a lot, but I don't remember what it was.

Anyway… [<- herherher (to use one of my sister's words.)] Ooh brackets, real nice (*right click 'herherher', left click add to dictionary). Sorry, I absolutely positively had to do that, or else the Perpetual Pugs would've scored (we are playing soccer/fütbol/shark-bandana-obstacle-course-Muslim-beanbag-toss). What? They scored anyway? Well aren't they the sneakiest little critters.

Crit·ter [krittər](crit·ters)

Living thing

a living thing, especially an animal

(Informal or regional)

• That dog was a funny old critter (or in this case, it was VERY, VERY SNEAKY!!)

Today I have been doing everything at 300% speed and 25% accuracy, so I decided that as long as I was actually saying things that were six-seventeenths funny, I might as well write this do this. Also with me not posting next week, I absolutely positively have to do it.

Crap. They scored again.

This blog might be harder to read than others, and also might be cheating since I have so many tiny paragraphs. I DON'T CARE… bear. What? What? No you first. Ok… wait what?

Halp me I am stuck in a trap of writing lots about nothing. I probably could sit her for hours and type pages that say nothing at all. *Halp added to dictionary. I don't have time to sit here for hours though. I have cheat codes for Portal and Half Life 2 that I want to test. I cannot wait.

Teehee, I said 'cannot'.

Pulpy is a weird word, with a weird definition. Google defines pulpy as, well first of all it's an adjective, but its definition is this. NO, not the word 'this', the thirty-one words that directly follow after the next semicolon (semicolon just for the smack of it); 1. Like a pulp or overripe; not having stiffness and 2. Having the characteristics of pulp; having the characteristics of pulp fiction; thus, having a garish focus on sex and violence.

Hmmm. It went from deliciously sweet tasting but stupidly textured orange poop into sex and violence. How bad are things in this world that you cannot even discuss orange pulp without some Google worker coming up to you and changing the subject of your conversation for the worse. We should cause all of them to faint and then destroy all of the poke' centers so they can't be healed by annoying nurses with pink hair. Those Google workers and their Google maps cars, stealing your privacy AND your ice cream with the same hand. Man, hat Ticks me off almost as much as it Tocks me off.

Tocks: T-shaped socks for people with lonely feet. I made that up myself, in fact, I'm going to print that off and throw it away. Then do it again. I will then repeat it until the computer room supervisor dude throws a cleverly hidden ruler into my spinal cord from across the room.

That's probably not a good idea. I'll get Krieger to try it out. Now THAT is a good idea. I'm going to do that right now. Hold on one minute.

…

Yep, it happened exactly how I predicted it to, except the computer room guy threw it after only thirteen sheets thrown away. That was much faster than the predicted forty-five. Ew, Krieger is getting blood on the floor. Crap, this time, Krieger can't clean it up! WHO WILL DO THE WORK??

"This looks like a job for, Super-hero-with-about-forty-five-different-numbers-and-letters-on-his-costume (it's also blue)!!"

Wait, he does murder scene clean up? Well, that doesn't matter as long as I don't have to do it. At least he works for minimum wage. I'm happy to say we don't actually treat Krieger that bad. We clean up our own messes, no matter what type of bodily fluid it is!

MPREKDiYANTOS. That means 'goodbye for now' in munya, my sister's language.

MPREKDiYANTOS and munya were both obviously added to dictionary.

Speeches and Lando's song

I'm writing this in speech class while other people do their speeches. I've already done mine, so I don't have to pay attention. The way we have to do the speeches that we are doing now is interesting. We had to pick two different topics from a list of topics that he thought of while watching T.V. All the topics were really crappy, so no body had a topic that they were fully interested in. Anyway, after you choose two, he 'randomly' chose you another topic (they were actually not random, he just said they were.). So then you had three topics that you had to research and prepare speeches for. But then that day, he held up three note cards with a one, a two, or a three on it. By choosing one of the note cards, you were choosing which speech you were going to give, leaving the other two topics to poop their pants and cry in the corner from not getting picked. The funny thing was, you could easily see the number through the cards, so you could choose which two topics you want to watch clean up large piles of human manure.

Someone just mentioned a cow in one of their speeches, and Lando's brightened up like a little girl who just got the crap beat out of them by a Jonas brother. Because they wouldn't care that they were in average pain (A Jonas brother couldn't hit that hard), because they would be so exited that a Jonas brother touched them.

Back to Lando.

He perked up when they mentioned cows. For some reason, he really likes cows. Why? Why would he like cows? I mean, I like cows as much as the next cotton candy seller, but they are not that special. In History class, we had to pick something that we were learning about, and illustrate it. I drew Gandhi weaving his own clothes. He took the simple detail that one country traded beef, and made it into what he wanted. His drawing was one cow. One single thin pen outline of a cow, with three spots, and the eyes of a kid on a sugar high.

Another thing about Lando that's worth writing about is that he made up a song. Not a cleverly rhyming song with twenty verses, a four line song. I think he made it up in wrestling practice. This is how it goes.

'Ring-a-ding-ding-ding,

The cat is in the bathtub,

Thanks for the bacon,

Ring-a-ding-ding-dong.'

Speaking of Lando, he is giving his speech now, and his topic is 'which crimes are felonies'. That kinda shows you how crappy the topics were. Anyway, it made me think, since some states have the death penalty enabled in the options menu, and some don't, why do people still do crimes punishable by death in the states with the death penalty? Why don't they go to the other states and do them there? If it were how it should be, the crime rates would be extremely lower it the states with it enabled. I dunno. It might actually be, and I just don't know. Oh well.

Oh yeah, I got sick of Age of Empires, and it's NOT just because I suck. I just got sick of it. Don't even ask me about it. I won't talk about it.

I forgot to start writing down everybody's funny childhood stories, so I will start that today. I dunno if I will post one tomorrow or not, because I might be too busy working on the childhood story mass blog, but I know for sure that I won't be posting all of next week becaus eof exams. I know this really doesn't matter to anyone, because I have no readers outside of my school, and if I ever do, that week will already be over, and I would have began to post again, but I like to sound like I have a truck load and a half of readers. It makes me feel good.

Food, and womb computers

Ungh. That is a grunt, which If you would have heard out loud, you would have known that I was feeling frustrated. The reason is because I am starting to not want to write in this blog anymore. It's starting to feel more like an assignment. This is not a good thing. But the thing that IS a good thing is that I will force myself to, so if you actually DO like this blog, then I will keep writing in it. Even though I know that at this time, I have nobody that is not my direct friend that I hang out with everyday that reads these. The person that reads them the most is miller, so many Kudos to you (I'm NOT giving you a kudos).

Also, like I predicted, I am running out of things to write about except if you remember, I predicted that it would take a long time before it would happen. I had said I was a real topic filled guy. Well apparently I'm not. Bummer.

I just remembered something. Matt got a second cake (If you are confused right now, and you are thinking, second cake? What? Then you obviously didn't read all my blogs, so get to it.). I'M SO PROUD. One bad thing though, usually cakes are delicious, but this cake was not. I know what you're thinking. How can a cake taste bad? It's cake! Unless you are someone you tasted this cake, because then you are thinking; yah, that was a bad cake (ß Semicolon usage? Not sure if it is proper, I am terrible at grammar). I'm not sure how the cake tasted bad, whether it was old, or if Matt farted directly on the cake and the scent absorbed into the spongy texture of the angel food cake of which it was made, but I do know that it was so bad that he traded it to someone who didn't know for two chicken ramen. Good deal in my opinion, fart cake for delicious, delicious ramen.

That also reminds me. This weekend, my mom bought something which I had no idea existed. She came home from Sam's Club (who is Sam?) with a 36 pack of ramen. 36!! That is a butt load of ramen, and I ate many of them. Krieger thinks that having unlimited Mountain Dew and pot pie is better than unlimited ramen, and I'm not sure I can argue with that. That's food and drink. Not only that, its pot pie. Hmmm. Sadly, I think he wins. Sad face.

So far I have only talked about food. That's pretty cool. I mean REALLY COOL. RREEAALLLLYY CCOOOOLL. Mhmm, yah, whatever.

I'm chewing gum. It's red.

I don't know what to write. Ok I thought of something. To hear what he wants to say, continue on to the next paragraph.

Recently me and my friends have gotten into Age of Empires 3 or 2 ( I don't know). With the generously accepted help of miller, we connected 3 to 4 computers, depending on if Petoskey smokes or not (he has never smoked; (That's semicolon number four!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I just said that for no reason. Don't get concerned for his health.). I am really bad at real time strategy games, because my brain doesn't think that way, and because I never have before. I know that's a bad excuse, they have told me, but they all have played this game since before they were born. That's not fair to me if they were brought into this world playing on a laptop that runs on Willy-Wonka's-everlasting-nuclear-batteries-that-last-nine-months. I don't even know how they did that. That's just amazing that their mother's womb would create such technology. Anyway, they are better than me, blah blah blah. Who wants to hear that anyway?

Can you tell that I added the exclamation marks to add stuff to this? It's not cheating either. No! No it's not! Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh! Voice from the next room: SHUT UP!!!

Well I have to obey ghosts. They are more powerful than me. They could go 'whooooo' when I'm trying to sleep. And since Ghosts don't have to sleep they could do it all night (the whoo-ing, not… whatever.)

Well since I am literally saying a lot without saying anything, I'll stop here. I think I am going to try to go around to a lot of people and get funny stories from their childhood, and post them all into one super large prostate cancer-ed blog. Without prostate cancer. That would be pretty sweet.

If you are reading this at night, then goodnight. If you are reading this in the morning, then good morning. If you are reading this as you scream towards the earth at breakneck speed with a parachute strapped to you back, then stop reading and open the stupid parachute!!

This blogs rules, and Smeagolish behavior.

Yesterday, on Tuesday (Aww, it's only Wednesday), I didn't post anything, and I have a good excuse for it. I had a runny nose, and it prevented me completely from typing anything. Seriously, I was physically unable to type anything blog related. The truth is no where near that excuse (I just didn't feel like doing it.), but it is a good excuse anyway. It's ok that I didn't put anything, because I am not going to be like shaycarl, or Charlestrippy (or however his name is spelt, I don't know, I don't watch his videos. One daily vlog is enough.), by posting one up every single day for months at a time without missing a single one. Basically, I'm going to as many days as I can (or feel like), except for on the weekends. I have more important things to do on the weekends, like maplestory. Y'know, stuff that I can only do on the weekends. Also, during the summer, I will post much less, but I will. In the summer it will always depend on what time I wake up in the morning. Or afternoon. I think they will be shorter during the summer, because I will be too lazy to write, but more interesting, because I will actually do things worth writing about. Also, if I go on a car trip, they will be beastly long because I will have nothing else to do in the car.

With a little over two weeks of school left in the year, every single day except for Monday feels like a Friday. Mondays… just feel slow and stupid, until the end of the day when you think it is Tuesday, because then you feel stupid. Aggh. Every week seems longer than the last, and every weekend feels even shorter.

I like four letter words, which is why I use them a lot. Words like Aggh, argh, haha, y'know stuff like that. Also reading over what I write, I use a LOT of contractions, even though I had that one paragraph on how I think they are stupid. I still like them though, and a probably use them so much because that how I talk. I blend words together and I speak kind lazily. Sometimes when I am way too lazy to move my mouth to say something, but someone asks me a question, I just grunt. The way I grunt lets them know exactly what I mean, so I don't need to explain. A frequent example is when someone passes by me in the hallway and says hi. I am too tired and lazy to say hi back so I grunt in a way that they can translate as hi. Usually I do this right when I wake up in the morning, when my eyes still are crusty and haven't adjusted to the bright light yet. People try to talk to me, but I just grunt. By now they've figured out that I'm really not a morning person, and that I'm still grumpy from not being able to watch the end of my dream and knowing that for countless hours I will be bothered from not knowing what happened to the main character. Spoiler alert; (<- semicolon. <- spelled right.) he fell into stomach fluid and became badly disfigured, and probably die. Also, his house that he completely built out of Jell-o completely caved in, killing his wife and kids (Seriously, why doesn't that happen in Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs? I was anxiously waiting for it to happen, but

when they left the house and it DID'NT happen, I was convinced that they were going to come back to that Jell-o house, and it was going to collapse then).

Hmm, what was I non-rudely saying before rude Eric Pankow rudely interrupted. How rude of him. Oh yeah, I'm not a morning person. A good example happened in the beginning of the year, when they didn't fully understand how grumpy I can get in the morning (they still don't have a full grasp, they still try to talk to me, I know, how rude!). I sleep on the bottom bunk of Matt and my bunk bed, which was crammed up in the wall. His blanket is king sized, so he shoved half of it between his mattress and the bed frame. He had already gotten out of bed, and the blanket was hanging over, completely closing off my bunk like a dark cave. Oh the days of my dark warm cave. Anyway, I was sleeping in the cave, and, unknown to me, everyone was crowded around my bed, ready to pounce if they needed to. Miller slowly crept up, probably doing that raptor walk thing that he does, which you may not known about you, you person reading this (Congratulations to you for reading this far by the way.).

Anyway, Miller crept up, bent over, grabbed the corner of my blanket, and pulled. Somehow I woke up fast enough to grab it, but he kept on pulling it. I was grumpy (the main character was in a fight with a giant red worm), and I wanted my blanket, so I burst out of the cave. Miller was still holding the blanket, so I attacked with great ferocity. The all of a sudden exposure to cold air didn't make me any happier. I punched and kicked, probably looking REALLY stupid. Actually, I should probably say 'drowsily flailed my body part in the vague direction of Miller'. He finally let go, and, like Smeagol, I scampered back into my cave. That was my side of the story, and his is probably different, but now you see how people mess with me in the morning as well as how much of a morning person I am not.